8-ATHE GALVESTON DAILY NEWS MONDAY MORNING, JUNE 8,1992 Entertainment and Features Good, clean limerick betrays vulgar origins By ABIGAIL VAN BUREN DEAR ABBY: Enough limericks but if you will, please correct the public's misperception that Edward Lear (no relation to Norman) invented the limerick. He merely popularized the CLEAN limerick and only because his "Book of Nonsense" caught the public's fancy in 1863, although its first publication in 1846 made nary a ripple. The clean limerick fad lasted only five years (thank God), but the genuine article still exists (and has for several centuries) as the main vehicle for vulgar doggerel. Please refer to the excellent, scholarly work "The Limerick" by G. Legman (Bell Publishing), which has a comprehensive introduction, tracing the history of this verse form, and gives 1,700 examples of genuine limericks.
With few exceptions, they are vulgar, salacious and unfit for family newspapers. In short, indicative of the true nature of the beast. Abby, I know I said "enough limericks" but they are addictive, Dear Abby aren't they? Example is Professor Morris Bishop's masterpiece: Me limerick is furtive and mean, You must keep her in close quarantine, Or she sneaks to the slums and promptly becomes disorderly, drunk and obscene. V. APPLEMAN, FREEPORT, TEXAS DEAR V.
APPLEMAN: I have received many naughty and bawdy limericks from my readers. Some are so steamy they should be stored in a fireproof vault. Now here's one that's slightly suggestive, but quite witty: Said a potentate grown and despotic "My tastes are more rich than exotic. "I've always adored "Makinglove in a Ford "Because I am auto-erotic." DEAR ABBY: I read a letter in your column from someone who was thrilled when the Salvation Army found a lost relative. I am bothered by this.
Suppose somebody doesn't want to be found? Several years ago, by my own choosing, my "family" ceased to exist. I moved to another part of the country, changed my name, and have made no contact with them, nor do I want any. (Please, save the lecture, Abby I didn't write for that reason.) I have never for one minute regretted my choice. 1 doubt very much that any relative of mine has ever expressed the slightest curiosity as to learning my whereabouts. But if one does, I do not want the Salvation Army, or anybody else, sticking their nose in my business, giving out information of my whereabouts to people who did not show any interest in me in the past.
Sign I AM NOT LOST DEAR NOT LOST: Have no fear or trepidation; the Salvation Army is not in the business of disclosing the whereabouts of people who do not want to be found. Before making a search, the Salvation Army gets sufficient information to ensure that it is not invading anyone's privacy. And, if a family member is located who prefers to remain "lost," the Salvation Army will respect that person's privacy. CONFIDENTIAL TO VICE PRESIDENT QUAYLE AND MIJR- PHY BROWN: Thanks for giving our nation a much needed belly laugh. (No pun intended.) COPYRIGHT 1892UNIVERSALPRESS SYNDICATE Horoscope June 8, 1992 More successes than usual are likely for you in the year ahead.
You've learned valuable lessons that you wili use to your benefit, and you're not apt to repeat old mistakes. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) You could be in for a pleasant surprise today when you discover that your apprehension about something is based on groundless fears. The lesson won't be forgotten. Major changes are ahead for Gemini in the coming year. Send for Gemini's Astro-Graph predictions today.
Mail $1.25 plus a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope to Astro-Graph, this newspaper, P.O. Box 91428, Cleveland, OH 44101-3428. Be sure to state your zodiac sign. CANCER (June 21-Juiy 22) Something opportune might develop for you today through the auspices of an individual with whom you're closely associated. On the surface, it might appear to have only marginal value.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) In order to instill loyalty in others today, you must be prepared to exhibit such a quality yourself. Stand by your friends as you would want them to stand by you. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept.
22) Due to events you'll have little control over, a portion of your day might be a bummer. However, the part that is productive should more than make up for it. LIBRA (Sept, 23-Oct. 23) If you're entertaining a business prospect today and want things to go smoothly, conduct your affairs in a place with which you're familiar. This will put you, as well as your quests, at ease.
SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) Matters which could be meaningful to you financially should be given top priority today. You're likely to be much more fortunate in this area than you will be in others. SAGITTARIUS (Nov.
23-Dac. 21) If you have a serious matter to discuss with another today, make ii strictly business, eliminating small talk. Irrelevant topics could get things off track. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan.
19) Temporarily set aside frivolous pursuits today if they interfere with something that could make or save you money. Go out and play once you've put the bread in the box. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) If you're presently involved in something with others that you feet is being mismanaged, assume greater responsibility.
Your best asset today is your ability to be an effective organizer. PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) Doing something for self-aggrandizement is not likely to motivate you today, but when it comes to helping friends or family, you'll pul! out all the stops. ARIES (March 21-April 19) The progress of a new endeavor you're working on can be dramatically enhanced today if you focus on its basic rudiments instead of its totality. Concentrate on essentials.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20) It is imperative that, today, you have clearly-defined objectives where your material affairs are concerned. Once you know exactly what you want, you'll figure out how to get it. Horoscope Line What does the future hold Dally lucky numbers 1-900-976-9992 9 5 each min ute Source rfinformation: Audio Ad Inc. COPYRIGHT 1992 Newspaper Enterprise Assn. Bulletin Board Items for this column may be mailed to Bulletin Galveston Daily News, P.O.
Box 628, Galveston, Texas 77553. Type or print plainly and include a phone number we can call with any questions. If your club or organization has disbanded or has changed meeting times or place, let us know so we can correct it. AA GROUPS Alcoholics Anonymous, Closed AA, Santa Fe group, meets 8 p.m. Monday at Old Alta Loma Post Office, 12045 15th Street.
Call 925-2848. Alcoholics Anonymous, Galveston group, meets 7:30 a.m., noon, and 5:30 p.m. Monday at 1823 33rd Ave. Call 763-9276. Alcoholics Anonymous, nonsmokers group, meets 8 p.m.
Monday at St. Mary's Hospital, education room. Alcoholics Anonymous, Safety Valve Group meets 7 p.m. Monday for an open big book study at Alcohol Drug Abuse Women's Center, 712 5th Ave. 945-0609.
Alcoholics Anonymous, Spanish speaking group, meets 8-10 p.m. Monday at 1826 Texas Texas City. Alcoholics Anonymous, Spanish speaking group "Puente De Libertad" meets 8-10 p.m. Monday on corner of 26th and Streets, Apt 3, Galveston. Call 7657533 or 772-2572.
Alcoholics Anonymous, West Isle Group, meets 8 p.m. Monday at Zion Lutheran Church, 6910 Yucca, for closed big book study. Call 740-3533 or 744-2369. CHURCH Fellowship Baptist Church regular support group meets 7:30 p.m. Monday at church, 312 Rose Street, Texas City.
Junior Mission and Willing Workers, West Point Baptist Church, meets 7 p.m. Monday in fellowship hall. Senior Mission Society meets 7 p.m. Monday at Neighborhood Baptist Church, 803 Main, La Marque. Call 938-0102.
HOBBIES Aerobics class, low impact, meets 8-9 a.m. Monday in Mainland Center Hospital Gym at Institute for Living. Classes are free to 55PLUS members. Call (409) 9385050 or (713) 337-5050. Rhythmic Aerobic Classes held 9 a.m.
Monday at Sacred Heart Church Gym, 14th and Broadway. Free babysitting in church nursery. First class free- regular fee $3 per class. Call 7623802. Bay Area Singles Club meets p.m.
Monday for karate lessons at Ed White Youth Center (no charge the first month). Call Bob at 326-1129 951-3028. Gulf Breeze Senior Citizens Club meets p.m. Monday for Games Party, 1211 21st Street. Call 765-8794.
Old Tyme-Country Dance lessons held p.m. Monday at Clear Lake City Recreation Center, 16511 Diana Lane, Live music provided and no prior experience necessary. Call 4880360 or 488-5235. Retired Senior Volunteer Program Sewing Circle meets 10 a.m. Monday at Menard Park, 2119 27th St.
Volunteers needed. SOCIAL-SERVICE Ball High AFS adult and student meeting 7 p.m. second Monday at Ball High South cafeteria. THE LOCKHORNS O1992 by Kino Faalures Syndteato. Inc.
Woild rights PL.AY -PITTANCE Body Shaping program meets p.m. Monday at Hirsch and Associations Counseling Center. Call (713) 280-3927 or (409) 9358570. Childbirth Education is offered 7-9 p.m. Monday on second floor of Women's Education Center at Mainland Center Hospital.
The cost is $50 per couple and pre-registration is required. Call (409) 938-5050 or (713) 3375050. Dickinson Evening Optimist meets 7 p.m. Monday at Optimist Clubhouse, FM 3436. New members welcome.
Dickinson lions Club meets 6:30 p.m. second Monday at Rosita's Restaurant, 2015 Pine Drive. Call 337-0504 or 337-1372. FOE No. 48, Ladies Auxiliary, meets 7 p.m.
second Monday at Aerie Home, 1906 Ave. Galveston. Officers meet 6:30 p.m. Galveston Navy Mothers Club 172 meets 1 p.m. second Monday at Menard Park, Galveston.
Galveston Police Appreciation Committee meets 7:30 p.m. Monday at 4615 Ft. Crockett Blvd. GPAC is a group of concerned citizens demonstrating support for City Police Department. New members welcome.
Call 744-5541 or 762-7646. Galveston Singles Group meets 5:30 p.m. for health walk at Moody Gardens, Call Jo at 7630615. Handicapped and Retarded Association meets 7:30 p.m. second Monday at Nessler Center, Captain's Room, Texas City, Call 948-3769.
La City Retired Educators Organization meets I'O a.m. second Monday at Greater Bell Zion Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 5917 Carver Texas City. Call T.J. Jackson 935-5773, or Helen Spriggins, 935-6817. Jole Ladies and Big Brothers Social and Charity Club blue Monday disco show 9 p.m.
Mondays, Sportsman's Palace, 2527 Postoffice. Galveston. Moody House Auxiliary meets 1:30 p.m. second Monday in Captain's Room at Moody House, Galveston. Pilot Club of Galveston meets 6:15 p.m.
second Monday at Rosenberg Library, Galveston. Executive board meets 5:30 p.m. second Mpnday. Professional Secretaries International, NASA-Clear Lake Chapter, meets 6:30 p.m. second Monday, Nassau Bay Motor Inn.
Call Estelle Qjllette, 488-5960. San Jacinto Neighborhood Association meets 6 p.m. secorfd Monday in library of Gulf Breeze 21st and Ave. L. Property owners and residents welcome.
Scouts Explorer Post 104 meets 7 p.m. Monday at Trinity Episcopal Church, 2216 Ball Street. Call 765-6317. St Mary's Senior Health Network airs 9 a.m. Monday on KGBC.
Other offerings are "Forever Fit, Blood Pressure Screening and Healthy Night Out." Call 766-4386. Strawder's Pride Chapter No. 333, Order of the Eastern Star, meets 3 p.m. second Monday at St. Lawrence Hall, 1524 3Ist Galveston.
The La Marque Lions Club meets 6:15 p.m. second Monday in La Marque Lions Community Center, 1400 Sylvia. Texas Volunteer Band meets for rehearsal p.m. Monday at Edgewater Methodist Retirement Community (Moody House), 2228 Seawall Boulevard, on second floor. New members welcome.
Call Lee King 763-4869 or 763-4340. TOPS p.m. Monday at Guarantee Federal Savings, Highway 6, Santa Fe. Weighin: p.m. Call Nita, 9253625.
SUPPORT Adults Abused as Children, AAAC meets 8 p.m. Mondays at St Mary's Hospital, 1st floor, Conference Room No 1. Group is for anyone that has suffered sexual, physical or emotional abuse as a child. It is a 12 step group. Call Dony at 762-6053.
Adult Children of Alcoholics meets noon Mondays at Our Lady of Guadalupe School, 4416 Ave. M. Call 766-4307 or 761 -2572. Adult Children of Alcoholics meet 7 p.m. Monday at Alvin Recovery Center, 301 Medic Lane.
Call Terry Schutz, (713) 331-7918. Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse meet p.m. Monday at New Dimensions Day Hospital in atrium Crest Building, 18333 Egret Bay Suite 560. Certified Sex Therapist Alice Webb holds group limited to approximately 810 participants. Call (713) 3332284.
CocaineAnonymous, Change life Group meets 8 p.m. Monday. Call 761-2011 before 5 p.m.. CocaineAnonymous, Galveston Group meets 8-9 p.m. at Mary Moody Northen Pavilion, first floor, llth Street and Texas.
Cocaine Anonymous, No Strings Attached, meets p.m. Monday at La Marque Presbyterian Church, 2413 Pecos. CROSSWORD by THOMAS JOSEPH ACROSS 1 North and totem 6 Slight breeze, 11 Perfect 12 TV's sound 13 Literary category 14 Ludicrous 15 Gangster Diamond amis 18 Long hair arrangement 22 Mecca native 23 Track star Bob 27 Uncontrollable tear 29 Play place 30 Old-time call to arms 32 Raison 33 Soaking wet 35 Life story, for short 38 Singing group 39 Heart parts 41 Last Greek letter 45 Darling, in Dijon 46 Sired 47 Actress Hayes 48 Wear away DOWN 1 Sty resident 2 Keats work 3 Actor Cariou 4 Worm- getter 5 Winter weather 6 Spring flowers 7 Campaign 8 First person 9 Penalty 10 Low digits 16 Yak it up 18 Hemingway nickname 19 Vaccine type 20 "Peter Saturday's Answer Pan" weeper pooch 35 "Well- 21 Recent Tempered arrival Clavier" 24 School composer subj. 25 Monster 37 Pitcher 26 Require Hershiser 28 Window 40 Fury accessory 42 Conceit 31 Debussy's 43 Deity "La 44 Had a 34 Mythical feast QTII mi DC For answers to today's crossword, call I ViVlrE.I/1 1-900-454-7377! 990 perminute.tguch- tone rotary phones. only.) A King Features service, NYC.
DAILY CRYPTOQU01ES Here's how to work it: AXYDLBAAXR isL ON FELLOW One letter stands for another. In this sample A is used for the three L's, for the two O's, etc. Single letters, apostrophes, the length and formation of the words are all hints. Each day the code letters are different. 6-8 CRYPTOQUOTES CSV LMOB NBHGVIB ZYLFG CSV XZG RH DSB RG VEYI WVXRWVW GL YVXLNV WLNVHGRX ZMRNZO.
XLNKGLM NZXPVMAR'V Saturday's Cryptoquote: THERE IS ONE THING ABOUT BEING PRESIDENT (OF THE U.S.A.) NOBODY CAN TELL YOU WHEN TO SIT DOWN DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER 1992 by King Features Syndicate, Inc. THE ACES ON BRIDGE Bobby Wolff "I can resist everything except temptation." Oscar Wilde. Today's declarer had his eyes fixed firmly on his trump suit. If the trump finesse worked, he would have an easy overtrick.
And even if it didn't, how could he lose more than three tricks? It was a temptation he could not resist. South won his club ace, crossed to a high heart and ran the spade 10 for a losing finesse. West cashed the club jack and shifted to the heart queen, ruining South's chances for 10 trick's. When South knocked out the diamond ace, the defenders took a heart trick and the game went one down. Should South have started the diamonds before starting the trumps? That would not have worked either.
East wins, returns a diamond, and scores a diamond ruff when West wins his king of trumps. The safest way to 10 winners is to refuse the temptation of the trump finesse. Instead South should cash his ace and lead a low trump, refusing to weaken dummy's heart holding. West wins and cashes a club, but South remains in control. He has time to draw the last trump and knock out the diamond ace, assuring himself of 10 tricks.
NORTH 1097 6-8-A WEST K4 VQJ72 753 10 9 10 9 6 82 EAST 532 V109 5 4A2 SOUTH AQ J86 V843 JB 4 A 7 Vulnerable: Both Dealer: North The bidding: North East South West 1 Pass 1 Pass 2 Pass 4 All pass Opening lead: Club queen LEAD WITH THE ACES 6-8-B South holds: 85 VAJ872 10 KQ3 South West North East IV Dbl. Redbl. 1 Pass 2 3V 3 4V Dbl. All pass ANSWER: Spade five. When your side has most of the high cards, the opponents are bidding on distribution.
Lead trumps to cut down the crossruffs. Send bridge questions to The Aces, P.O. Box 12163. Dallas, Texas 75225, with self-addressed, stamped envelope for reply. Copyright, 13V2, Untied Future Syndicate SUBSCRIBE TODAY! CD Call 744-3611.
